When Life Throws a Curveball at a Curvy Equestrian

For the last month or so, my post on bodyshaming in the show ring has motivated equestrians of every background and size to send me emails and messages about their experiences. Some have graciously agreed to share those stories with you. Readers, meet Cathi.

Training horses has forever been my passion. I have been riding since I was little and began training when I was 14. At 20 I wanted to turn it into my profession. My ADD and lack of time management skills made this hard to do. Still, I tried.

At the time, I was limited to starting colts and working barrel horses. My methods were a bit unorthodox. I believed in having a willing companion that didn’t just “do as I commanded.” I wanted my horses to trust me and be happy while they were being trained. My training methods mixed the traditional with the natural as well as throwing in some of my own ideas. It worked for several years.

In 2012 I was introduced to reined cowhorse. I knew that was what I wanted to do. As it turned out, I had a knack for it. I faced a dilemma though; I didn’t have enough knowledge to train horses in reining and cutting. Thus, my new journey began.

Deciding to further my skill set was easy. Getting a hold of a trainer that would teach me and pay me was another story. I sent out countless emails and videos, and made countless phone calls to trainers all over the country.

None of them wanted me.

Then, on a nice peaceful October evening, a small time trainer from Idaho called me. They were looking for a person to help manage the health and care of the herd. In exchange, this trainer would pay me and work with me once a week in helping me train my horse. I made like Tonto and jumped on it. My official interview was in November, and by December I had loaded all my belongings and my horse and we put good ole Texas in our rear view.

Oh, the excitement I felt. This was a new start. I was apprehensive about moving to a place where I didn’t know a single person, but I was determined to see my plan through. It was a long drive through winter weather to Idaho. I was cursing myself for deciding to move in middle of December, but I made it safe and sound.

Life on the ranch was good…. at first.

My new boss and co-workers weren’t exactly the best of hosts, but then again, I’m reserved and am a bit of a hermit. My first few days were rough. I was so scatterbrained and had so much to do. There were not enough hours in the day. I had to work hard to better myself, starting with how I organized my thoughts, and working to improve my time management skills. Let me tell ya, working for trainers is great for self improvement. I kept a cheerful attitude and worked hard. I did my best to help the others out when I could.

The grim truth showed its ugly face about a month after my arrival. As I got to know my boss better, I learned of their pretentious and uncompromising nature. Any idea I had to improve efficiency was shot down. For the entire 6 months I worked, the trainer only worked with me and my horse twice. I had help from some of the other employees, but they hated on my little horse. It was suggested that I sell her and start over. She is a hot head, but she has a tremendous heart and a lot of try. It didn’t matter though. Soon I was kept so busy, that I only worked my horse once every 2 weeks.

Then one day, I was having a discussion with my boss. They revealed to me they didn’t approve of my weight and lectured me about how I could be a much better rider, grow wings, and save the world if I would drop some weight. It honestly shocked me. I wasn’t thin, but I didn’t have any trouble riding. That was the turning point, and it was all downhill from there. All of my riding horses were given to another rider to exercise. I was not permitted to ride the 2 yr olds. I managed to sneak onto some of the 2 year olds and a couple of the stallions. They didn’t seem to have a problem with me.

One day, when I had finished my work early, I got the nerve to ask one of the other riders if I could exercise one of his 2 yr olds. The colt was the smaller and more gentle of the bunch, but when I asked I got laughed at. I resisted every urge to knock that guy into the middle of next week. I tried to brush it off, but to no avail. I didn’t understand why these people here had such a problem with me. They were all thin as rail, and just because I wasn’t like them didn’t mean I wasn’t just as capable as them. I had the determination and the talent to be a good trainer. Maybe if more employers looked closer at potential trainer’s talent instead of body image, we might have better horsemen and women.

It didn’t matter. I began to hate my job. I heard little voices saying I should give up training. I was contemplating moving on and going back to Texas.

The only thing that kept me in Idaho was that somewhere, in the midst of all this misery, I met the love of my life.

Mid summer rolled around and I was fired. It was the best day ever. I felt all the stress and resentment I harbored leave from my body. I called my boyfriend up and gave him the exciting news. He wasn’t sure how to react to my reaction. Most people aren’t happy when they get fired. We had a long discussion about the situation and, long story short, my horse and I moved in with him.

I admit, I did worry about what I was going to do. I found renewed hope. I got my determination back. I took what I learned from watching the others, put my own flare on the methods, and began training my horse. And what would you know? She’s gained her confidence and she calmed down. She lopes around soft and collected. Her lead departures are nice and quiet, we can now slide 3 feet. My plan is to start showing her next year and prove that I ride and show just as good, or even better, than they can.

Body shaming has no place in the equestrian world. It has no place anywhere. If a person is active, eating right, and happy it shouldn’t matter their shape or size. It has reached a point where children as young as 6 are becoming concerned with their image. 6 year olds should worry about how they make ice cream and if chocolate milk comes from brown cows. They should not worry about what their friends in pony club think of their weight.

If you’re a rider and you have some curves, don’t let it stop you from pursuing any dream. Some people never have anything nice to say. That’s ok. I just threaten to sit on anyone who talks badly about me or others.