Changing The Body Shaming Conversation

With more than 2400 shares in 3 days, the response to my Bodyshaming In The Show Ring post makes it clear that there are thousands facing the same doubts, fears and pressures. We’ll never eliminate negativity but we can change the conversation to one of strength, wellness and educating the rider-athlete.

Last week, I published a post about a recent experience I had with body shaming in the show ring. An overwhelmingly positive season dabbling in dressage this year was briefly marred by mean-girl gossip overheard by my husband. Over the weekend, my Facebook page, email and the blog comments were inundated with people describing similar experiences.

On the one hand, it has been simply amazing to know that my post resonated with so many people who share my passion for riding. There were so many stories of success, words of encouragement and notes from people feeling inspired to conquer their own self-doubt. But at the same time, some of the responses simply left me feeling heart broken. I was speechless reading stories of women and young girls being made to feel ashamed, targeted, singled out, and less than – and for no reason other than their physical appearance or weight.

What was made perfectly clear when reading through all of these varied accounts is that this is not an issue that is limited to the dressage ring, to the barn, or even the horse world. This is something that can be experienced anywhere – perhaps most devastatingly in our own heads. From the responses I received on my blog post, I am definitely not the only one who finds my own self-talk to be the most negative criticism I encounter.

Last year, I started making small changes to how I talked about and looked at my goals. For years, I had told myself that I once I hit this weight loss mark or that goal size, I would celebrate by knocking something off my “bucket list”. Years have slipped by as I wrestled with thyroid medications, injuries that minimized how active I could be, and felt myself dragged down by my own self talk.

[bctt tweet=”I am not the only one who finds my own self-talk to be the most negative criticism I encounter.”]

But I’m done. I’m not doing that anymore.

Changing The Conversation

There are no rules to change or measures to pass that are going to stop the negativity – because it is rooted in our own self doubts and fears. What we can do is change the conversation – from a focus on numbers on the scale and pant sizes to a discussion about strength and the rider as an athlete.

[bctt tweet=”What we can do is change the conversation to one of strength and the rider athlete”]

Many equestrians diligently study and apply the best techniques for conditioning, training and feeding their equine partners. If you’re like me, those same aspects of my own life tend to fall pretty low on the priority list after my family, the barn, work and other daily obligations of adult life. If we can replace the self-talk that speaks to a body that doesn’t fit the “mold” to one of developing rider athleticism as part of improving overall riding – that is something we can control and work towards.

It’s About Inclusiveness

Let’s get really, really clear here. Fitness is a priority for me and it’s an important part of my growth as a rider. That doesn’t mean that I am in any way saying that “plus size” riders should be on a weight loss plan. I do believe that the rider is an athlete. Our sport can do more to encourage the riding community to treat themselves like athletes by advocating strength, stamina, flexibility and general wellness instead of breech size and a slim silhouette.

It comes down to inclusiveness. I can only speak directly to the disciplines that I am familiar with but I have heard the dressage, hunter/jumper and eventing communities lamenting a lack of entries and a downturn in membership of various organizations. It doesn’t seem to be a result of fading interest in horse sports. According to horsecouncil.org, 4.6 million people are involved in the industry as owners, volunteers and service providers in the US. But how many people are staying home from events or watching from the sidelines because they are afraid of getting laughed? Because they have been given the impression (or outright told) they don’t belong?

So What Do We Do?

On an industry level, I believe it comes down to education. Educating the membership, the professionals, and the service providers – although I’m not holding my breath waiting for that to happen.

However, on a personal level, we hold all the power. Imagine the impact if just a small percentage of the people involved in the horse industry make a commitment to be more inclusive – how many people’s experience would they change? We have the option to not participate in body shaming and when we do see it, to call it what it is. We each have the ability to foster a welcoming, educational, inclusive environment in our communities. Whether you show, trail ride,  or rodeo, it’s likely that you come in contact with other horse lovers. Only you can set the tone for those interactions.

I’m taking a stand

The last year has been a time of incredible growth for me. I’ve reached a place where I can recognize when my self-consciousness is making me hold back from something I want to do. But it still happens.

The single best resource that has helped me to continue making progress is support. There are simply days when we need someone to play cheerleader. There are days when we need a mental elbow jab to break out of a funk and get moving on our goals. A place to bounce problem solving ideas off of and ask for dinner recipe ideas when we just can’t think of anything.

If that support is something that is missing in your efforts to improve your fitness, I’d like to help. You are always welcome here at If The Saddle Fits to ask questions or to email me. But if you want more of a community, I’d love to have over at my Facebook group Fit2Ride. It’s a place to encourage, to empower, to cheer each other on as we work to be a more effective rider by improving our strength, stamina and flexibility. It’s about chasing goals – whatever they may be – and embracing where we’re at right while working towards the best version of ourselves. I’d love to hear your story.

You also might want to check out:

Body Shaming In The Show Ring

Do It Anyway

Dressage Lessons: Failing Forward