Finding The Confidence To Try

Even when you desperately want to chase a goal, finding the confidence to take that step can be a tremendous challenge. Finding the right tools made all the difference in getting me back in the show ring. 

In 2015, I sucked up all of my excuses and made my way back into the show ring. Tackling rated dressage shows for the first time as a working adult amateur (and a plus size one, to boot) was both fun and terrifying. There were highs and lows through out my first season back. I experienced some mean-girl body shaming. I also made some wonderful friends and enjoyed weekends away from my family that reminded me why I love this sport.

One important take away? The equestrian industry experiences the same lack of inclusiveness ripe in much of the retail industry when it comes to clothing and equipment for women larger than a size 12/14, I knew that going into it. I didn’t appreciate how much that would impact me mentally. Let’s get real, white breeches and stock ties don’t make for the most comfortable of riding apparel to start with. Add being plus size to that for a recipe for discomfort.

In Store Options

My first stop was attempting to try on clothes. I’m fortunate to have two decent sized tack shops within driving distance. One was a complete strike out. While they had breeches in my size (36 to 38), none of them were white. The show shirts that were marked in my usual size (XL) were in the neighborhood of a 12. Maybe.

After some online attempts (I’ll get to that in a minute), I made my way to the second local option – Dover. Since I ended up there on the day before my first show, I fortunately found a show coat that fit reasonably well and a show shirt that worked. That got me through my first two shows. The heat rule waived coats for my remaining two shows so I juggled between two ill-fitting show coats. Not exactly a confidence booster.

Online Shopping

After my first in-store strike out, I turned to my standard back up – SmartPak. While the options turned out to not fit, I was thankful for their fabulous return policy on sized items. I turned to the English Plus Sized Rider Facebook group for help finding breeches, locating a couple pair of decent used breeches. The feedback from group members was that I was pretty limited to heavier, uncomfortable for summer fabrics. So, I made do.

Romfh to the Rescue

Shortly after my Body Shaming in the Show Ring post went viral, I received a wonderfully supportive email from Laura Romfh, the creative mind behind Romfh Equestrian Apparel.

Part of my love of being a designer is helping to give joy and confidence to all our riders. We ALL are in the same boat of self-criticism, receiving shaming from others (for some reason or another) and we all want to feel comfortable and compete at our peak.

It’s better than Christmas!! #romfh #equestrian #dressage

A photo posted by Kristen (@ifthesaddlefits) on Oct 13, 2015 at 2:24pm PDT

The Magic of Confidence

I didn’t have the opportunity to test my new Romfh show clothes until the 2016 season – but the difference it made was incredible. Laura had talked me through the different cuts available for Romfh breeches and educated me a bit about the importance matching your body shape to the cut of your clothing. When I tried on breeches and show coat (about 15 minutes after I opened the box), I literally did a happy dance across my living room. They didn’t just fit – they felt good. And they were pretty.

When I finally had the chance to use them at the CTDS Bluebonnet, my friends’ reactions reaffirmed my thoughts. The Sarafina breeches gave me a great feel in the saddle and were perfect for our hot Texas weather – substantial enough to not be see through and light enough that I didn’t sweat pounds off just getting dressed. The zipper panel beneath the buttons on the Romfh Bling Coat make for a smoother, more flattering outline. And the Lace show shirt earned enough comments that I found myself thinking I should totally wear it with jeans for a date night!

Elf and I didn’t have our best show ever – but there was a huge difference. For the first time in what might be years, I went in the ring more focused on accomplishing a specific ride with my horse instead of tugging on my shirt, waist band or coat buttons. It was a powerful mental lesson.

I don’t believe that the clothes “make the man” – but just like finding the right tack for our horses makes it easier for them to work well, the right equipment gives the rider one less thing to worry about. Romfh offers more than functionally correct riding apparel – by offering coats, breeches and show shirts that are forgiving and flattering, it lends an extra bit of confidence as we push past our comfort zones.